Go, MeMe Roth, Go..! I Support Your Efforts..!

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

How Much Weight Do I Gain to Become REAL..?

Memo to Models: You are not real women.

We had a meeting and determined your lack of realness makes the rest of us feel bad.

Some of you puked or starved your way into making the whole lot look lousy. But the primary offenders are those of you born to be really really tall, with willowy legs and narrow hips. You piss us off the most.

So in a celebration of overwhelming mediocrity over rarefied beauty, we want you out of our magazines. And step away from the catwalk. We want to look at women who look like us--REAL WOMEN.

Don't give us your pity-party tales of being poked fun at growing up. "Bird Legs!" "Skyscraper!" "Skeletor..." So what if you were taller than every boy you ever had a crush on...

We're not impressed. We've been called FAT, ya know.

So here's to more "Dove Real Beauty" moments. Here! Here! (Pay no attention to Dove's sister brand: Axe. Hey Unilever, Axe guys aren't into real beauty??...)

Beauty is out. Obesity is in.

Next Week's Agenda: What to do with following troublemakers:

People with perfect teeth, perfect symmetry, pretty feet, nice hair, good posture, smooth skin, and all professional athletes.

1 comment:

Chelsea said...

MeMe, I've just discovered your blog, and this article is my favorite!

I'm a model and a natural size 0 - I don't do any extreme dieting, I just eat healthy foods and simple exercise (like walking instead of driving, etc). Because of a relatively healthy lifestyle and good genes, I can't find clothes to fit me properly. I was also very thin as a child, and I had to learn to sew just so the clothes designed to fit the "average" (overweight) child wouldn't fall off of me. Today, I still have to take in almost everything I buy. Vanity sizing has gotten absolutely ridiculous.

I also hate it whenever the pro-fat people say, "Real women have curves", but they only mean overweight women. Frankly, I'm probably curvier than most of these women, because I don't have a spare tire where my waist should be. I have boobs, a rather waspy waist, and a nicely defined bum! "Curvy" used to mean "hourglass", not "chubby". These people say beauty comes in all sizes, and yet they constantly bash anyone who is smaller than they are.

I'm certainly not saying everyone should be a size 0 - people do have different bone structures - but to be a size 18 and describing yourself as curvy is beyond ridiculous. To say you can be that overweight and also be healthy is even more ridiculous.

Thanks for the great blog, MeMe! You've just gained another fan!