40 Retailers are Joining Forces to Fight Child Obesity..!
They're gonna help kids "balance their energy..."
You know, run 4 miles if the kid eats a packet of Pop-Tarts... Run a mile and a half to cover the calories of 2 Girl Scout Cookies... Run 2 and a half miles for that 20 ouncer of Coke or Pepsi or whatever...
You guys, the Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation, are just so great, real Samaritans...
Looking over this illustrious list of retail do-gooders, something comes to mind. I don't want to be the master of the obvious, but uh, what if kids just didn't eat the shit you sell..?
Just for kicks, read over the list and add each company name to the template press release headline. And see if you can do it with a straight face. (Somehow Indra Nooyi can.) I couldn't.
"Company X" Joins Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation to Reduce Child Obesity...
Kraft? Kellogg? ConAgra? Coke? Pepsi? Nestle? Hershey? the Girl Scouts?
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